These are not Crocs.
OK, they are!
But not the hideous monstrosities I usually associate with the word "Crocs." Ugh. I would rather impale myself on a baseball bat than wear those.
... OK, ACTUALLY, a couple of weeks ago, I had to borrow a pair for a minute from my cousin-in-law ... 's son (?) to traverse a field, and I will honestly say, despite the fact that I wanted to "shout at my shoes" as my mom would say (i.e., VOMIT) every time I looked at my feet, the unprecedented level of comfort afforded by the cushioned sole and the EXTRA-roomy, ventilated interior made my feet feel like they were in a cloud.
They felt great! They looked revolting!
A week later, I got a package in the mail. Neil likes to surprise me with occasional online shopping presents, and since I am obsessive about checking the mail, he knows I'll get it right away.
Hm, was I obsessed with checking the mail before or after I started getting occasional gifts therein? I digress.
So I opened this particular package, and what should I find inside but a pair of CROCS! But not just ANY Crocs -- WEARABLE Crocs.
They actually looked cute! And when I put them on, despite the fact they are only 1/3 the size of "normal" Crocs, I still felt the roominess and extreme amount of cushioning in the sole. Heaven!
Thankfully, they are not air-conditioned with all of those ridiculous perforations that make Crocs suitable for use as a colander. Instead, they are finished with a "sueded" look, although they are 100% synthetic. They are actually warm and waterproof and have excellent traction on the bottom.
I haven't been able to take them off my feet! For a long time, I felt an overwhelming disdain for everything about Crocs -- but today I am a CROCS CONVERT! I think you can see another reason why I like them -- they look like my ballet shoes.
Before I go too far, I will say that I still don't condone wearing the ginormously offensive Crocs in public. If you want to indulge in their comfort, I still think that's best done at home.
But these little beauties that I have on my feet this very second are perfect for everywhere! I don't want to take them off. IF you decide to get them -- -- ---- I know, I know, you hate Crocs, but TRUST ME, these ones won't make people think less of you as a person --- ---- you should order one entire size smaller than your normal shoe size. The first package I got were size 9, my yoozh size, and they were too big! They don't have half-sizes, of course. So I got the size 8 on Fri. and they are a perfect fit. I have worn them every day since I got them! Even Sunday!! I think they are appropriately tasteful for Church and PERFECT for chasing los niños around in Nursery.
Of course, take all of this with a grain of salt -- I have been wearing a lot of impossibly high heels lately. Wooden shoes would probably be a relief after that.