Halloween Party ...

... of one.

Two, if you count Nile, sleeping in her crib.

I usually enjoy Halloween and making a crazy costume in which to get dressed up.

This year, THE costume party to attend (going on now) is hosted by one of my officemates; all the more reason to definitely show up. Looking at the eVite, 27 people had responded, and many people were bringing friends. Neil, who is there now -- yes, we'll get to that -- invited two friends.

Why am I not there? I just felt like I'd rather stay here with Nile. I LOVE a good party, mind you, but I just really wanted to maximize my time with Nile. Well, before I put her to bed.

If I had a babysitter to just, well, SIT here now that she's sleeping, you better believe I'd throw on a Lady Gaga costume and run out the door to the par-tay.

But I just have an issue with getting a babysitter.  It is this awful cycle. Any parents out there, advice is welcome!

Nile is good with other people, but her only caretaker other than us is Nanny. Nanny lives outside the city and has to stay overnight if she babysits because the buses/trains she has to take don't run that late. Thus, we have only had her babysit on two occasions, when we went to social events.

I am afraid to leave Nile with other people because it could be upsetting to her, so the cycle continues and she doesn't get used to other caregivers. I don't know what it is, I am just SO super-paranoid about something bad happening to her, and/or her being upset and sad and crying at being left with a stranger.

This is really causing a problem, because then we either take her everywhere with us, which in most cases is fun and fine, or we stay home, which tonight is not as much fun.

Since she was BORN ............. we have had only the aforementioned two nights out. We never had family watch her when we were in AZ (big mistake, I should have taken advantage of offers to hold the sweet, sleeping newborn, but I was breastfeeding and not pumping yet, dumb me).

So that means no date night just Mr. and Mrs. for the past 7 mos.!

You'd better believe that's going to change shortly once we get home (and/or when the in-laws come into town next week). Yes, we are starting to realize how very SOON it is that we are going back "home" to the States for a break!

It's just that I feel like since we're leaving soon anyway I don't want to put baby Nile through the stress of meeting a sitter that we're only going to use once or twice before we skedaddle on outta BsAs.

I think our time back in the States with family will afford us some willing sitters who I feel trusting of and comfortable with.

But what should we do when we get to Botswana?

Well, what I have been saying for awhile now is, "I can't wait to have a live-in (nanny) in Botswana."

SERIOUSLY. I really hope it will be affordable and possible to have a live-in. Oh my gosh, my world would change. So that's pretty much No. 1 on my list of priorities re: Botswana.

Otherwise, I guess we should try out sitters? How does one go about doing that? I'm sure there is something said about the subject in one of these baby books we've got lying around here, but your advice is probably better. I don't feel like I'm a hyper-protective or even hyper-involved mom (come on, I leave my baby all day to go to work (issues about that another day)) but for some reason I feel anxiety about leaving Nile with anyone other than her Dad or Nanny.

I am not torn up about not going to this Halloween party, although I am bummed since it promised to be pretty sweet. And I don't regret staying home with baby Nile when she is awake. I know, I know, "sacrifice is part of being a parent." But I do need to figure something out so we can maintain a social and dating life when Nile is sleeping and it doesn't matter if we're the ones (vs. a sitter) at home anyway.