Saturday, October 30, 2010

Halloween Party ...

... of one.

Two, if you count Nile, sleeping in her crib.

I usually enjoy Halloween and making a crazy costume in which to get dressed up.

This year, THE costume party to attend (going on now) is hosted by one of my officemates; all the more reason to definitely show up. Looking at the eVite, 27 people had responded, and many people were bringing friends. Neil, who is there now -- yes, we'll get to that -- invited two friends.

Why am I not there? I just felt like I'd rather stay here with Nile. I LOVE a good party, mind you, but I just really wanted to maximize my time with Nile. Well, before I put her to bed.

If I had a babysitter to just, well, SIT here now that she's sleeping, you better believe I'd throw on a Lady Gaga costume and run out the door to the par-tay.

But I just have an issue with getting a babysitter.  It is this awful cycle. Any parents out there, advice is welcome!

Nile is good with other people, but her only caretaker other than us is Nanny. Nanny lives outside the city and has to stay overnight if she babysits because the buses/trains she has to take don't run that late. Thus, we have only had her babysit on two occasions, when we went to social events.

I am afraid to leave Nile with other people because it could be upsetting to her, so the cycle continues and she doesn't get used to other caregivers. I don't know what it is, I am just SO super-paranoid about something bad happening to her, and/or her being upset and sad and crying at being left with a stranger.

This is really causing a problem, because then we either take her everywhere with us, which in most cases is fun and fine, or we stay home, which tonight is not as much fun.

Since she was BORN ............. we have had only the aforementioned two nights out. We never had family watch her when we were in AZ (big mistake, I should have taken advantage of offers to hold the sweet, sleeping newborn, but I was breastfeeding and not pumping yet, dumb me).

So that means no date night just Mr. and Mrs. for the past 7 mos.!

You'd better believe that's going to change shortly once we get home (and/or when the in-laws come into town next week). Yes, we are starting to realize how very SOON it is that we are going back "home" to the States for a break!

It's just that I feel like since we're leaving soon anyway I don't want to put baby Nile through the stress of meeting a sitter that we're only going to use once or twice before we skedaddle on outta BsAs.

I think our time back in the States with family will afford us some willing sitters who I feel trusting of and comfortable with.

But what should we do when we get to Botswana?

Well, what I have been saying for awhile now is, "I can't wait to have a live-in (nanny) in Botswana."

SERIOUSLY. I really hope it will be affordable and possible to have a live-in. Oh my gosh, my world would change. So that's pretty much No. 1 on my list of priorities re: Botswana.

Otherwise, I guess we should try out sitters? How does one go about doing that? I'm sure there is something said about the subject in one of these baby books we've got lying around here, but your advice is probably better. I don't feel like I'm a hyper-protective or even hyper-involved mom (come on, I leave my baby all day to go to work (issues about that another day)) but for some reason I feel anxiety about leaving Nile with anyone other than her Dad or Nanny.

I am not torn up about not going to this Halloween party, although I am bummed since it promised to be pretty sweet. And I don't regret staying home with baby Nile when she is awake. I know, I know, "sacrifice is part of being a parent." But I do need to figure something out so we can maintain a social and dating life when Nile is sleeping and it doesn't matter if we're the ones (vs. a sitter) at home anyway.


Bfiles said...

Everyone feels differently about this, but I've always felt that it's enriching for my kids to interact with others and be loved by others. You are in Latin America where people LOVE children! I would try asking people you trust for a recommendation, and then first leave her for short periods, then build up to longer.
The thing is, she's only 7 mos old. I promise you, it will only get harder if you wait until she's 2yo to start hiring a babysitter.
I miss my social guys seem to have a great one there, and as Nile gets older you won't be able to take her out with you. So you'll be home much more.
Ok since you asked, those are my thoughts! Good luck!

mj said...

Well we just had our first non-family babysitter last week. For our ten month old. So yeah, I get it. The thing is how do you start, right? It is a good idea to slowly build up but then what to you do if you keep putting that off and then all of the sudden there's this thing you want to go out for? I second getting a recommendation from someone you trust. I perused internet caregiver boards for a long time, but then eventually I just asked some ladies at church who they would trust THEIR infant with and voila we found a good and somewhat cheap teenage babysitter. She has a baby brother Adele's age and watches him alone all the time, so she is definitely a winner and we are definitely using her again. Luckily Adele is very social, but she is still in the throes of separation anxiety so we just got the babysitter a little early and hung out for a while so they could get to know each other with us still around and then we took off. She did cry at some point but she's just a crier and she liked the babysitter in general so we knew she'd be fine. And she was.

the mom said...

HEY- Grandma and PopPop are waiting, anxiously waiting, to get our hands on that child of yours. But I know you will want to share her with others while you are here but just so you know....GO OUT....GO AWAY... just come back and know that we will take VERY good care of Nile and looking forward to it too. :D

i. bloggit said...

aww, i love catching up on your blog and miss you, neil, and the adorable nile i have yet to meet!

as for advice i don't have a kid but i do have a problem getting over the hump of a difficult decision sometimes. you know it has to happen, so you just have to confront it, and i think that will probably happen soon, since you're thinking about it so much and taking steps toward being ready.

x x leslie

Jill said...

I just love your blog! I've linked to your post on the State Department weekly blog roundup. Please let me know if you'd like me to take it down or edit. Have a great weekend!