Wednesday, September 1, 2010

18 Years

The wife of one of my supervisors came in on Monday and we were chatting. She just got back from dropping her twin boys off at college. She said something that nearly made me cry -- those moments happen here and there now, in direct correlation to being a mom.

I had always known the whole kids growing up, going to school, moving on, getting married thing was universally accepted as a sad step for a parent. Something that when someone tells you they are in the process of doing, you kind of take a deep breath, sigh, give them a sympathetic grin to attempt to commiserate and then make a little joke with them about it.

Well, the conversation I had with this woman on Monday put it in a different perspective for me.

With wide eyes she said, "I was getting ready to leave, and I just thought, 'I hope I was a good mom!' "

at which point, a lump jumped up into my throat and tears immediately welled in my eyes, and all I could say was, "Oh, that is so sad!"

She went on: "Eighteen years goes by so fast -- everyone said it would when they were born, but it just goes by and suddenly here I am leaving them at school; I just couldn't stop thinking that there was my chance, it flew by, I hope I've taught them everything they needed to know!"

I  could only say, "Oh my gosh, that is so sad, oh, wow!" to keep the tears from escaping the fragile edge of my eyes while she said that as she was getting ready to fly out, one of the boys called her and said, "Mom, I miss you already." Too much. Luckily she went on to joke about them calling her later to ask her the classic questions about separating laundry.

Ever since high school, the years have passed by rapidly, each more quickly than the previous. It feels the same way with baby Nile. She was born and time slowed down for a minute and now it is passing more and more quickly like in fast forward and she is now a little more than five months old! I only have 17 and a half years to teach her everything I want to. I know maybe this sounds dramatic, but I think it's true. What's also true is that I love her!



Linda Robertson said...

Being a parent is so great! Thanks for sharing your feelings.

Daniela Swider said...

Oh, I so agree with you about how everything started going fast-forward soon after our daughter was born and hasn't really slowed down. All we can do is try our best to be good parents and teach them the important things in life. Then I guess we hope for the best...

mj said...

Oh man, yes. Every once in awhile I can see some "little girl"-ness in Adele's face rather than just babyness (maybe because she's finally getting some hair) and I am floored by this. How soon before we are mommies to walking talking little girls who will never be babies again? Yowza.

Dropping her off at college is just unfathomable.

Moni & Paul said...

This is soo gorgeous I love it!
I couldn't agree more, it felt like 18 years with my parents flew by in a second.. the memories are the best!
love it

stephanie joy said...

I read this on my phone this morning and it made me tear up! You are such a sweet mommy and now I can be on my computer to tell you so.

Also, thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment. Just the other day I actually wore some crocs that Linda gave me a couple years back that are really cute. It made me think of that crocs post from when you were first married and I was like, Megan was right. They are comfortable and can even be pretty cute! So your comment just now doubly confirmed that thought in my mind.

Did you get my random skype voicemail I left you the other day? Just thinking about you world travelers. Love you!

the mom said...

Megan, I could not have said it better. Those feelings are even more intense with your baby has a baby!

modestmuse said...

Thanks, ladies, for your sweet comments. From one side or the other, we all have experience with this crazy, wonderful, love-riddled, mother/daughter phenomenon! Thanks for helping me to feel a little more comfortable opening up about my feelings on this amazing journey :)