The wife of one of my supervisors came in on Monday and we were chatting. She just got back from dropping her twin boys off at college. She said something that nearly made me cry -- those moments happen here and there now, in direct correlation to being a mom.
I had always known the whole kids growing up, going to school, moving on, getting married thing was universally accepted as a sad step for a parent. Something that when someone tells you they are in the process of doing, you kind of take a deep breath, sigh, give them a sympathetic grin to attempt to commiserate and then make a little joke with them about it.
Well, the conversation I had with this woman on Monday put it in a different perspective for me.
With wide eyes she said, "I was getting ready to leave, and I just thought, 'I hope I was a good mom!' "
at which point, a lump jumped up into my throat and tears immediately welled in my eyes, and all I could say was, "Oh, that is so sad!"
She went on: "Eighteen years goes by so fast -- everyone said it would when they were born, but it just goes by and suddenly here I am leaving them at school; I just couldn't stop thinking that there was my chance, it flew by, I hope I've taught them everything they needed to know!"
I could only say, "Oh my gosh, that is so sad, oh, wow!" to keep the tears from escaping the fragile edge of my eyes while she said that as she was getting ready to fly out, one of the boys called her and said, "Mom, I miss you already." Too much. Luckily she went on to joke about them calling her later to ask her the classic questions about separating laundry.
Ever since high school, the years have passed by rapidly, each more quickly than the previous. It feels the same way with baby Nile. She was born and time slowed down for a minute and now it is passing more and more quickly like in fast forward and she is now a little more than five months old! I only have 17 and a half years to teach her everything I want to. I know maybe this sounds dramatic, but I think it's true. What's also true is that I love her!